- Kendra:: You freak it you buy it.
- Cleveland:: Fred Peterson was raping old ladies!?!
- Donna:: It's like my great grandmother used to say, "A lie is just an upside down truth."
- Cleveland:: What?! (To Self) Can I trust Donna?
- Roberta: Aaw...that poor reindeer. Tyra Banks says: Animal cruelty is wrong. Except when it a results in bacon-double cheese-burger.
- Reporter:: Blood on the tracks today in Holidaytown where for 68 passengers, a routine train ride to Gum Drop Village instead took a detour to Gum Drop county morgue. And now over to Dirk with sports.
- Dirk:: Better make that 2 massacres today. The Holidaytown Celebrators were shut out eight to nothing. A bad day indeed for pretend, cake figurine baseball.
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